BROOKLYN, NY —Brooklynite Daniel Stash has called an official House Meeting after coming home to find his Starburst fruit chews missing. According to Stash, he left an unopened pack of Tropical flavored Starbursts on top of his dresser before leaving the apartment for work. When he came home several hours later, it was gone.
Apparently, this is not the first breech of trust amongst Stash and his roommates. Johnny Parklish, long time friend and college roommate to Stash, claims to have had two Milk Duds and a canister of mint flavored dip stolen from him just weeks earlier.
With two roommates crying foul, all signs point to third roommate, Winston Sparks, as being the culprit. In his defense, Sparks had this to say: “I’m a diabetic.”
The house meeting is set to take place this evening at 7:30 p.m. EST. Two neighbors and a homeless man have been requested to sit in as neutral parties.
Relevant evidence is to be presented, and each roommate will be given 10 minutes to make their case. Ultimately, the verdict will come down to a majority vote.
PBR and organic ramen noodles are to be served once the meeting has adjourned.